Readers, which "we never realized this would offend anybody" statement do you find less convincing:

Busta Rhymes not realizing Muslims might be offended by his Koran-sampling song "Arab Money," in which the rapper boasts of getting "oil-well money" and "gambling with Arafat?

Or, Playboy not realizing that Catholics might be offended by its Mexican edition depicting a nude model as the Virgin Mary on its cover?

I vote for the second one.

The AP reports on a new campaign by musicians, including Rage Against the Machine and Massive Attack, to ban the practice of using loud heavy metal, hip-hop, and even children's songs to psychologically break down detainees for interrogation. Apparently, not every band has a problem with the practice, though.

Bassist Steve Benton of Drowning Pool, whose 2001 hit "Bodies" is a particular favorite of interrogators, had this to say:

"People assume we should be offended that somebody in the military thinks our song is annoying enough that played over and over it can psychologically break someone down," he told Spin magazine. "I take it as an honor to think that perhaps our song could be used to quell another 9/11 attack or something like that."

Having only a vague recollection of these guys, I looked up Drowning Pool's entry on AllMusic.com, which features a picture of the band posing with Barack Obama. I'm guessing that was a very weird meeting.

Photo by Scott Gries/Getty Images

"Christ, I miss the cold war," grumbled the exasperated M, played by Judi Dench, in the last James Bond film Casino Royale. She's apparently not the only one. Russian Communists are attacking Ukrainian actress Olga Kurylenko, co-star of the new film,  Quantum of Solace, for palling around with 007, a known "enemy of the Soviet people":

"In the name of all communists we appeal to you, Olga Kurylenko, wanton daughter of unclean Ukraine and deserter of the Slavic world. The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you, and brought you up for free, but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal," the St. Petersburg-based KPLO group's statement read, going on to call James Bond "the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies [...] Your peers are engaged in struggles against NATO and you lounge around on the Cote d'Azur. How could you desert your homeland in its moment of need? Do you really want Crimean girls to be raped by cruel and stupid American marines?"

I'm sure proletarians everywhere are glad they took this principled stand against a fictional character.

Photo: VALERY HACHE/AFP/Getty Images

PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images

Financial Times columnist Gideon Rachman's "well-placed sources" are telling him that Barack Obama might be thinking of an outside the box pick for ambassador to London... Oprah Winfrey.

Rachman acknowledges the idea sounds ridiculous, but there is a tradition of major campaign donors being rewarded with ambassadorships. I have to say, though, this would probably be a worse career move for Oprah than for Obama. If the world's most-powerful celebrity really wants to get involved in international diplomacy, there are probably more effective and enjoyable ways she can go about it on her own.

Rachman is one of the 10 foreign-policy experts FP enlisted to choose a "dream team" for the next U.S. president's cabinet. While all of the experts gave well-reasoned and thought-provoking choices, he seemed to have the most fun with the concept. Check out his pick for ambassador to Russia.

Think you can put together a better team than these out-of-touch political elites? Go for it. There's a write-in space, so feel free to nominate Oprah for any cabinet position you'd like.

Dave Hogan/Getty Images

About year and a half ago, Passport blogged about the opening of the $40 million Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa, funded by -- you guessed it -- Oprah. The project was launched in celebrity fanfare, highlighting Oprah for the cultural and economic world power she has truly become.

Much to Ms. Winfrey's dismay, however, extravagant spending has been followed by spectacular scandal. A former head mistress from the school is suing the famous talk-show host for $250,000.

About this time last year, allegations of sexual abuse in the school surfaced (Oprah weeped when she heard). Virginia "Tiny" Makopo -- then a school employee -- was arrested for counts of abuse to which she pleaded not guilty. But Oprah was not quite done cleaning house. Nomvuyo Mzamane, the former head mistress, was accused of covering up the scandal. Now jobless and "depressed," Mzamane is sueing Oprah for defamation. She says she never knew the abuses were going on.

The price tag on the lawsuit is barely a drop in the bucket for the $2.5 billion celebrity, but Oprah should worry a lot more about that the tougher-to-quantify damage to her brand.

Lara Tomlin for FP

If global warming, weapons of mass destruction, or an asteroid eliminate human life on Earth, all will not be lost. Stephen Colbert's DNA will be there to save the human species.

Next month, a digitized copy of Colbert's DNA will be sent to the International Space Station as part of "Operation Immortality," a project of video game designer Richard Garriott. In the event that humans cease to exist, aliens can use the DNA to resurrect Homo sapiens.

Colbert, the satirist who was the winning write-in candidate in FP's "World's Top Public Intellectuals" poll, says he is now even closer to his "lifelong dream" of being the floating fetus at the end of the 1968 science fiction movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Madonna, lover of all types of attention, kicked off her world tour on Saturday. Guess we know how she'll be voting in November:

The BBC reported that the two-hour show took a political turn when, in a lead-in to a remixed version of "Like a Prayer," a video sequence showed flashing images of destruction followed by pictures of Hitler, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and then Senator John McCain. Senator Barack Obama popped up in another video interlude, but his montage included Gandhi, John Lennon and Al Gore. The tour arrives in North America on Oct. 4.

In other seriously dumb arts news, Visit London featured a portrait of notorious English murderer Myra Hindley in a promotional video at a London 2012 event in Beijing. Can't wait for those games!

MR. BROKAW: Did you hear from a lot of people, including your own family members, about recommendations that they had or ideas that they might have had?

MS. KENNEDY: My family is so shy, you know?

MR. BROKAW: Yes, I can imagine.

MS. KENNEDY: Of--yeah, I did, and we really...

MR. BROKAW: There were no cousins who said, "Put my name out there."

MS. KENNEDY: Yeah, put my name on, yeah. No, "I know you're doing this to put your name on," that kind of thing. Yeah. No, there was a--you know, we reached out, obviously, I heard from my family, and I trust their judgment a lot. And then, you know, we went around and talked to a number of colleagues, groups, people who care, women, lots of different kinds of people, and then, you know, I did get a lot of unsolicited suggestions, a lot of people nominated themselves. Not you, but others, so, you know, your name came up.

MR. BROKAW: My name came up? In a dismissive and derisive fashion, of course.

MS. KENNEDY: Yeah, right.

Francois Durand/Getty Images

Japan's chief cabinet secretary is disappointed that Carla Bruni, the wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, won't be attending this year's G-8 summit in Hokkaido.

I can't say I blame her. The supermodel-turned-singer has an album launch this coming Friday, and she'd rather prepare for it than sit around learning how to fold kimonos and sipping tea with the other G-8 wives.

Back in Europe, her album seems to be getting as much coverage as the summit itself. The British press is agog at the revelation that Mrs. Sarkozy has had 30 lovers, and the AFP reports that France's "gossip press" is "nearing fever pitch," and the album has gotten rave reviews thus far.

In case any French music critics are wondering how to handle the unusual task of critiquing their first lady's musical talents, Carla has a ready answer in "Ta Tienne" (Yours): "I am yours, if they diss me or damn me, I don't care a hoot."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Comedian Mike Myers's latest movie, The Love Guru, hits the big screen in the United States today. In the film, Myers plays Guru Pitka, a character who is raised at an ashram in India and then moves to the United States to serve as a New Age-ish life coach for a Canadian ice hockey player experiencing marital problems.

Some Hindus in the United States have complained that, based on what they've seen in the trailer, the movie lampoons their faith and reinforces misconceptions about their religion. The movie never mentions Hinduism, and Guru Pitka is supposed to be of a fictional faith. Critics, however, contend that considering he's coming from an ashram in India, wears Hindu saffron robes, and uses the term "guru," what other religion would viewers logically link him to?

It's true that in the United States, Hinduism -- one of the world's fastest growing religions and practiced by nearly 1 billion people -- has been largely and inaccurately portrayed as a bizarre, New Age-like religion. And The Love Guru will probably reinforce that image. As one Hindu leader told the Associated Press, "People are not very well-versed in Hinduism, so this might be their only exposure. They will have an image in their minds of stereotypes. They will think most of us are like that."

Upset Hindus should take solace, however, in the fact that this movie is a flop, mainly due to Myers's tired jokes and lame toilet humor. Reviews have been scathing, and the film received a pathetically low 15 percent on the tomatometer. Looks like The Love Guru generated some bad karma for itself.

On my way into work this morning, I spotted former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld walking past FP's offices on Massachusetts Avenue here in Washington. Accompanied by what looked like a Secret Service escort, Rumsfeld was looking hale and smiling, though he was carrying a cane. "Hello, Mr. Secretary, how are you?" I asked him. "I'm good," he responded. I couldn't ascertain where he was headed -- AEI and Johns Hopkins SAIS are good bets, though, and he might have been leaving the Carnegie Endowment or Brookings.

Sharon Stone is in big trouble with China.

Speaking last week at the Cannes film festival, the American actress made the following ill-advised remark to a Hong Kong TV station:

And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma -- when you're not nice -- that the bad things happen to you?

As you might imagine, Stone's riff wasn't viewed too kindly by Chinese netizens, who have added her to their growing pantheon of personae non grata and are organizing a boycott of Stone-related products. Theaters are dropping her movies, department stores are taking down her image, and cosmetics brand Christian Dior has been scrambling to distance itself from the actress, who since 2005 has been the face of one of its skin products. I think it's fair to say Stone is discovering that karma can be a real b*tch sometimes.

You can see the video here:

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

You may have been wondering what Rudy Giuliani has been up to since the ignominious end of his presidential campaign. It turns out that "America's mayor" is getting back into urban politics...in Ukraine.

Giuliani was in Kiev on Tuesday, speaking with former world heavyweight boxing champion Vitaly Klitschko, who is running for mayor. Giuliani has signed on as an advisor to Klitschko's campaign. At yesterday's press conference he offered this advice:

"If Vitaly is elected mayor of Kiev, my first piece of advice for him would be to say ... no more corruption, corruption is over."

Klitschko is one of the front runners in a wild election that has drawn 79 candidates, but the ex-boxer known as Dr. Iron Fist has been mocked by his opponents for his perceived lack of intelligence and poor command of Ukrainian. (Like many Ukrainians, he grew up speaking Russian.) The former champ, who actually has a doctorate in physical education, seems to be longing for the simplicity of his sport:

"Sometimes I wish I could meet people inside the ring, where there are clear rules," said Klitschko, who has 34 career knockouts and literally towers over the political field at 6-foot-7 (2 meters). "But physical power decides nothing in politics."

Indeed, in addition to running for mayor Klitschko is training for a shot at retaking his title this summer, two goals that might seem contradictory.

But Giuliani seems confident in his new protege and sees parallels between Klitschko's rise and another slow-talking muscleman turned transformational leader, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Kiev's squeegee-men better watch out.

VINCENZO PINTO/AFP/Getty Images

It turns out that blatant racists aren't the only interesting appointments to Silvio Berlusconi's new cabinet. Last month, Berlusconi publicly mocked spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero for hiring too many women, saying, “Zapatero has formed a government that is too pink, something that we cannot do in Italy because there is a prevalence of men in politics and it isn’t easy to find women who are qualified.”

Well it turns out that Berlusconi did manage to find a few, including his new equal opportunities minister Mara Carfagna, a former Miss Italy runner-up and topless model turned parliamentarian.  The story is actually even more ridiculous since the two have a history. Berlusconi once told Carfagna at a banquet that he would marry her if he was single and reminded her of the medieval law letting estate lords deflower virgins on their wedding night. This, in turn, provoked a public letter-writing war between Berlusconi and his wife that played out in the pages of Italy's newspapers. Berlusconi has previously remarked that right-wing female politicians are more beautiful and the fact that his new environment minister was once named "Miss Parliament" is also probably not a coincidence.

The Berlusconi show is back in town, folks.

Georges DeKeerle/Getty Images

British comedian Eddie Izzard made a stop in Washington last week, and I got a chance to see his show at, ironically, the Daughters of the American Revolution's Constitution Hall. (Ironic because Izzard is famous for doing shows in drag.)

Having seen Dress to Kill, his HBO special, I was psyched to hear some quality jokes about the European Union. Izzard is a big fan of EU integration, and he often weaves pro-EU commentary into his act. As he puts it in Dress to Kill, the EU is "the cutting edge of politics in an extraordinarily boring way." Or in 2006 for the Guardian, "The EU is like a huge rock festival: everyone has colour-coded passes and there are no wars." He even told Newsweek recently that he eventually wants to go into European politics on a platform of "logical governance." In his view, the stakes could not be higher:

We've got to make it work in Europe. People are very worried about sovereignty and the loss of sovereignty. I think the stakes are if we don't make the European Union work, then the world is screwed. End of story.

Instead of EU wisecracks, though, Izzard treated us to a long and extremely funny disquisition on Wikipedia, prehistory, and religion. In his encore, he did work in a quick plug for the European Space Agency, but that was about it.

Here's Ted Turner, the media mogul turned restaurateur whom serious people routinely label an "environmentalist," commenting on the impact of global warming by 2048:

Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable."

Come on, Ted. These kinds of comments are the reason many people don't take climate change seriously. (You can read more sober comments from Turner in an interview with FP here.)

(Hat tip: Mike Nizza)

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

I've sometimes wondered if Paris Hilton's airheadedness is just an act. If that's the case, she's a brilliant actress. Here's her comment during a visit to Johannesburg this past weekend:

I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries."

She's one of America's top exports, people.

FILE: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

In a likely response to the famous Björk incident, the Chinese government is exercising stricter control on performances by foreign musicians. The first victim? Noted Tibetan separatist Jazz singer Harry Connick, Jr.

America's favorite adult-contemporary crooner showed up to do a show in Shanghai Sunday and had to change his planned set to match an old list someone had "mistakenly submitted" to the government for approval:

Authorities insisted he play the songs on that list, even though his band did not have the music for them.

"Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to give my fans in China the show I intended," Connick said in a statement.

So, Connick's band mostly stood around on stage while he played a mellow set on the piano.

YouTube also shows an odd exchange in which Connick asks the audience what that big, tall financial center in town is called and they all yell at him "Jin Mao!" It would be a little like Amy Winehouse coming to New York and asking what the big statue holding the torch is.

Mohammed Abbas of Reuters reports on the ever-expanding influence of Chuck Norris:

Norris' appeal is not restricted to U.S. troops either. At an Iraqi police graduation ceremony in Falluja, graduates called out for their "Chuck Norris" to pose with them for photos.

"Truthfully, I didn't know who he was. I asked the Americans, and they said he was a great fighter, and that's why they named me after him. They showed me a video, and it's true, he's a great fighter" said police trainer Mohammed Rasheed. With his handle-bar moustache, Rasheed has a vague resemblance to Norris.

Another police trainer said Chuck Norris was a role model for the police in Falluja, which until 2007 was an al Qaeda stronghold and the scene of fierce battles with security forces. "I've seen his videos, he's a hero. He saves the city, he protects women and children and he fights crime wherever it is. We should all be like Chuck Norris," Khaled Hussein said.

It's a sad, sad day for everyone out there with a heart of gold. Neil Young:

I think that the time when music could change the world is past," he told reporters. "I think it would be very naive to think that in this day and age."

"I think the world today is a different place, and that it's time for science and physics and spirituality to make a difference in this world and to try to save the planet. If we didn't do that, it would just feel like a bunch of old hippies up there saying what they thought — and who cares?"